This week's Musical Memoir is a surprising one. If anyone knows me REALLY well, or at least has known me for a long time, you will know that I'm not very fond of the band Switchfoot, though I was at one time. Well, today's music is from none other than that band... Enjoy the video:
Ive got my memories
Always inside of me
But I cant go back, back to how it was
I believe now
Ive come too far
No I cant go back, back to how it was
Created for a place Ive never known
This is home
Now im finally where I belong, where I belong
Yah this is home, Ive been searching for a place of my own,
Now I found it, maybe this is home
Yes this is home
Belief over misery
Ive seen the enemy
And I wont go back, back to how it was
And I got my heart set on what happens next
I got my eyes wide its not over yet
We miracles, and were not alone
Yah this is home, now im finally where I belong
Yea this is home, Ive been searching for a place of my own,
Now I found it, maybe this is home
Yes this is home
And now, after all my searching
After all my questions
Im going to call it home
I got a brand new mind set
I can finally see the sunset
Im gonna call it home
Home, this is home
Now Im finally where I belong, belong
Yes this is home,
Ive been searching for a place of my own
Now I found it,
Maybe this is home
This is home
Now I know
Yea this is home
Ive come too far
And I wont go back
Yea this is homeThis seems to be the perfect song for the last couple of weeks. This song is very repetitive, but one thing that is certain is that the author has found his home and therefore, the place he's meant to be.
Last week, I took a week long trip, starting on Monday. For months now, I've longed to go to Georgia. It got to the point where I was screaming out, "GEORGIA TAG!!!!!!" if I saw a vehicle with a Georgia liscence plate. My poor husband must've thought I was crazy. I just needed to go back to my roots... and if I didn't get to soon, I felt like I would just jump in the truck and start driving there, not caring whether I had the gas money or not... I could stop at a gas station and work for a few hours for that, couldn't I? Yeah...that so would've worked. To make a long story short, I discovered that I did have the funds to drive to Georgia, and so I did just that. It was all very spontaneous, and fortunately I didn't combust with over-excitement.
As I drove through my hometown and the surrounding areas, I remembered a lot of different things. In Lavonia, I thought about someone from my past and the memories we made working at a feed store there; though to be honest, most of said memories weren't that great. They are just pieces of a past that made me who I am today, and that makes them interesting to recollect. In Royston, I saw pieces of a different part of my past. My dad driving me through town. A church we used to attend. Familiar buildings, some that I've been inside of while visiting friends. The Seven-Eleven my dad visits every morning... the honey-buns he'd buy from there and bring back to me. I reached to change the radio station and heard "WNGC" and some guy spouting his excitement over an upcoming UGA Bulldog game for the first time in over a year. I stopped at a store and talked as Southern as I could just to revel in the fact that the person on the other side of the counter wasn't going to shoot back, "Where are you from?!" It was wonderful to be able to avoid that whole conversation. Somehow, it's annoying to hear, "I know someone from there" or "I lived there...for a year" or "I knew it was somewhere Southern, you sound like you're from Georgia!" That was probably the biggest surprise to me upon moving to Virginia - the fact that I sound Georgian as opposed to French or Irish.
I drove to my parents' house, realizing that I still refer to it as "home" even though home is elsewhere now. "Home" is someone special, and wherever he is, that is home. Always and forever from now on. And I love it that way. I miss my dog and spending time with her. I miss not seeing certain familiar faces. But at the end of the day, I'm happiest where home is, and there are things I do not and never will miss. Like the times when I had no friends because my hometown just didn't seem to boast many people my age who weren't off doing criminal activities or other things that just weren't appropriate for me to join in at those times.
I played with my Chihuahua and loved on her, kissed her, received licks, and walked her through the yard. I went to see Daddy's hounds in the back and made sure they got petted, too. Later in the evening, I went to my grandmother's house, but this time, I drove instead of walking the 5 minute walk there. First time I've done that in years, and I can't say as I like it better than walking, although it wasn't all fun and games walking either.
Sharing conversations with my Dad at Pizza Hut was amazing... MY Pizza Hut... And the father that I can always trust to tell me to "jest don't worry 'bout it". I don't think I've ever appreciated his passivity so much as I do now. I've come to believe it is the best sort of passiveness there is or ever will be. The man flows through life appearing as effortless as water in a clear brook. Having known him as long as I have, one must wonder how in the world he's made it this far still able to grin, act silly, and good-naturedly pick at everyone he knows.
My mom took me shopping for clothes for both me and Drew (a blessing in itself). I was a bit surprised she was able to make time for that... so I hadn't asked if she wanted to go someplace with me at all. I knew she had to work. Sometimes, I wish we had gotten along better when I was growing up, but you know something? I think we'd have been in the poor house and I would be the most spoiled child ever to run naked and screaming through Wal*Mart with a sippy cup of Coca-Cola had we done so.
My point in all of this reminiscing is simply that as the song says:
Ive got my memories
Always inside of me
But I cant go back, back to how it was
I believe now
Ive come too far
No I cant go back, back to how it was
Created for a place Ive never known
This is home
Now im finally where I belong, where I belong
Yah this is home, Ive been searching for a place of my own,
Now I found it, maybe this is home
Yes this is home
I may never be able to go back to how things were, but I can enjoy the memories they've impressed upon me. To replace the things I've lost, God has given me the place where I ultimately belong in life. He's given me the destiny I longed for so much when I was living the memories I have today. It's in my hands, all I have to do is mold it.
I hope this inspires others... and I look forward to seeing the comments.
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