Internet Safety: Don't Be Stupid

In 1995, my mother bought our first desktop computer.  Over the course of five or six years, we wore that thing out to the point it would never work again...  I loved making artwork on it, and Mom even let me chat with others on special "just for kids" chat sites when she was watching.  As I got older, she allowed me a little more freedom, and I found I was able to do a great deal more online as time went on.  This was the technological Burger King: what would they think of next!?

I quickly learned how to make friends in cyber-land, and found it much easier than making friends in the "real world".  Granted, much is lost to the atmosphere of relationships when cyber-land is involved.  I was blessed and lucky, though.  I found many wonderful people who are (in some cases) just as real to me as my real-world friends and family.  They are neither scammers nor scoundrels.  They simply are people in another part of cyber-space trying to live their lives the best they know how.

More recently, I've become quite disturbed by the news stories I've been reading regarding Internet safety, and those so unfortunate to fall victim to others via social networking.  Some of these stories appear fairly innocent in which a victim(s) of crime would post something online seeking work, or a buyer of their product only to end up a victim of murder, molestation, or other crimes.  However, I personally am appalled by those stories recounting the (forgive me) lack of common sense of an individual to the point they are taken advantage of, and eventually it dawns on them -- occasionally, too late.  Worse yet, we've involved children and teenagers in this mess, to the point that they and their peers bully each other via the web.  These are VERY serious issues.  I know that a lot of people may consider me a bit too brash to discuss this, but it concerns such a wide range of people and groupings that I feel it necessary.

One may wonder how it is that I've gone through so many years of social networking, chatting, etc. seemingly unscathed.  The answer is that I remained as informed as possible, and when I did run into problems, they were quickly and appropriately taken care of.  I want to share my tips, tricks, and common knowledge here in the hopes that someone can be saved a lot of trouble.

The Job Seeker - A few years ago, it came to my attention that many businesses are switching to online applications rather than keeping to a simple "hard copy".  I decided to try my hand at this in the hope of finding much needed work.  In so doing, I posted my resume on job sites such as Monster.com and others.  I found several very nice positions posted on such sites which I desired to apply for, and did so through the site.  Since I was in such great need of a job, I was doing many searches for jobs, and applying at several places in a day.  Before long, my email inbox became filled with tons of job offers, many of them quite obviously scams.  One of them, however, happened to catch my eye.  I replied to it, hoping it would be legit.  I was told I would be mailed information regarding the job offer.  It still seemed legit, so I gave my address (which was a PO Box at the time).  A few days later, a packet came.  When I opened it, two money orders fell out, with a letter.  The letter instructed me to put one money order into my bank account, mail the other to a client in another state, and so the cycle continued.  I took the money orders straight to my local post office where they checked them.  The money orders were fraudulent and had I put them in the bank, my account would have come up several hundred dollars in the negative.  I gave all information I had regarding the senders, returned home to my computer, and blocked them from emailing me again.  I eventually shut down my email account and created a new one.

I do not believe that sites such as Monster.com are at all bad.  However, I do believe that having too many third-party applications can spell out trouble for any job-seeker. 

• When job seeking, do not apply online unless you can do so by visiting the company's website directly (without clicking any links in a job-searching site).
• I recommend keeping a post office box when doing business such as this.  It keeps your home and address seperate.
• To reiterate the last bullet, it is best to not apply for a job by clicking the links in a job-search site.  If the site has an apply button next to it, think, try searching for the main website. 
• If there is no online application at the company's direct web-page, look for a Contact page, and use the information given to send in your resume and a cover letter.  More work, but at least you're not turning fraudulent money orders into the postal service.

The Buyer \ Seller - There are many places out there where you can buy and sell things from home.  The safest of these (in my opinion) are the ones where the transaction takes place entirely online.  There have been some reports (not all of which have been proven) of people who have been raped and worse because they posted or replied to ads on Craigslist, and other such sites.  These sites provide an opportunity to get rid of your trash by selling or giving it to someone who hopefully will consider it a treasure.  They also offer opportunities to find work, employees, and even relationships if you truly desire to do so by posting an ad.

Craigslist is not a bad site.  But once again, safety measures must be taken.

• When posting an ad, be sure to include that you do not accept out of town\state orders.  This can lead to fraudulent money orders as well.
• When meeting up with a stranger to buy or sell anything, do so in a very public place, and in daylight hours.  Furthermore, try to do so in a small group (you and a spouse, family member or a couple of trusted friends). 

The Dating Scene - The Internet has become a hub-bub for folks looking for love in all of the places (both right and wrong).  In today's society, many of us feel unloved and we seek what we desire.  Love in all it's forms can render the wisest man or woman dumb as a brick.  It behooves us, then, to be more cautious than normal when choosing someone to be so wholly entwined with via the Internet.

Probably the most recently disturbing story I've read regarding dating sites where con artists have stolen photos and identities of military members (US Army soldiers seem to be a particular favorite) and used them on dating sites.  In one story, it had even wreaked havoc on a soldier's marriage, nearly ending it!  The con artists are good; they have well-established scams, which is why they continue to use them.

Read what I found here.

Dating sites are not bad.  Military service members (US and otherwise) are not bad.  But additional caution is quite necessary when allowing oneself to date online.

• When a member of an online dating venue, be even more careful than normal what you share.
• Should you find your cyber-soulmate, chat with them awhile (more than a few hours / days / weeks).  If the two of you desire to meet in person, pick a special place that is public.
• If Mr. Oo-la-gushy-mush is a military service member, watch carefully for clues that he could be a con masquerading as a service member.
• He/she doesn't need any money to "pay for leave".  Leave time is free.
• He/she doesn't need you (or anyone else) to send an officially formal request so that they may go on leave.
• They don't need super expensive phone cards.
• Etc.
• I do not recommend sending money to anyone you have met online, until you have also met them in person.  Especially if they have specifically requested it.

There are sites, such as the one mentioned in the article linked above, which help those who have been victimized by con artists pretending to be service members.  If you are a woman who has been contacted by a supposed member of the armed forces in a dating site, I suggest visiting http://militarygear.com/asp/.  This site often posts names which have become popular for scammers to use.

If you are being victimized by someone not in the military:  Take steps to block or delete your attacker, but be certain to take down all information you have on them before-hand.  Use this information to handle the situation from a distance.  You can take it to your local authorities and request information regarding internet safety as well as materials instructing you on how to further protect yourself and your family.  You may also find a very helpful "Report" button should you be on a dating site, Facebook, or other web-chat.

Thank you for reading, and if you have questions or comments, please feel free!

IMVU - the Underworld of the Internet

An Introduction: Over the past six years, it would seem that there has been a conflict raging over certain 3D messenger clients, such as IMVU, Second Life, There, and others. These messengers allow their members to create a 3D character, called an avatar, which is one's representation of himself or an alter ego.

IMVU is currently one of the most widely used of such virtual worlds. Not only does it host over one-hundred million registered users and six million unprecedented monthly visitors, but it boasts the largest virtual goods catalog worldwide. These virtual goods are created by content-creators numbering over one-hundred thousand.

Basic memberships are completely free, although non-paying members must spend time earning their "predits", which are the promotional version of "credits", IMVU based currency. Predits can be won or earned by playing games within the virtual world, as well as various other methods. Credits, on the other hand become available via prepaid card, gifts, or by paid membership. Paid members receive more credits than non-paid. Also, non-paid members have "Guest_" tacked on in front of their name (Guest_LadyHikaru). It is currently about twenty dollars for a paid membership, which will take the "Guest_" out from in front of the member's name (LadyHikaru).

Entering the Underworld: Unfortunately, there have been many concerns regarding the security of people - particularly children and teens - on IMVU, as well as other 3D messenger clients. It is for that reason that I would like to raise awareness regarding them. The good news is that IMVU does not allow children under the age of thirteen to join, however, there are those as young as eleven who have joined by lying about their ages. In IMVU, anyone with the appropriate amount of credits/predits can "buy" just about any virtual goods offered them. This does include some of the more racy outfits, which, in the real world, could only be found in adult stores. Luckily for those involved, IMVU only grants access to these items to members with an Access Pass, which costs about twenty dollars and cannot be bought with credits/predits.

The reality of IMVU is that people from countries worldwide can get on it. They can be anyone they please, or they can be themselves. Many of them use the 3D chat to proposition others sexually, or just cyber-sexually. It is believed this is one reason why IMVU has become so popular with many adults. With the Access Pass, one can even have a completely nude avatar, and can do "actions" with the avatar which are better left in the bedrooms of married couples. In less graphic scenarios, some of the members are too busy flaming others to truly get anything out of the experience, and others attempt selling things outside of IMVU, though this it is against the rules.

Personal Insights: I have been a member of IMVU for about three years now. I prefer to keep my own avatar as a virtual branch of my true self as well as masquerading as a 'good' vampire, and ocassionally an avenging angel character I created. I have been flamed and propositioned several times, none of which have ended dangerously. I also choose my avatar's clothing carefully, so as not to reveal too much.  There are certain things that are available to me through the virtual catalog that I use only in the presence of my husband's avatar.  I have found that there is both good and bad to be had from chatting.  My favorite good thing is learning about other people and their cultures.  The most dangerous thing is giving too much information.

As a young adult who began using the internet at the age of ten, and who has been chatting without parental supervision since I was about sixteen, there are some pointers I would give to parents and teens:

Parents:

1. Start early with you kids. Talk to them about the dangers and the good to come with chatting. The dangers are that there are bad people. The good is that you meet a wider variety of people.
2. Supervise your kids. Keep the Internet in your bedroom or a common area of the home. This way there is less chance that they will be able to do things you would not want.
3. Keep the lines of communication open. Teach your kids that they can come to you with a question - no matter how embarassing - about the conversations they are in.
4. Keep an open mind about their internet friends and be willing to talk about them and treat the idea of them as you would the idea of their classmate.
5. Encourage your kids to have a social life outside of the internet as well as having their internet friends. Please understand that kids are often unkind to each other. Because of this, there are some who honestly do not have friends. From someone who was once such a child, please be understanding of that.
6. Suggest reasons for your teen to chat aside from chatting itself.  Perhaps s/he loves Spanish class.  Maybe they can find someone who speaks it fluently and they can share that with the person.

Teens:

1. NEVER EVER EVER agree to meet anyone from the internet in person without telling family and/or friends, and take family or friends with you to meet the person for the first time or two.
2. Keep the lines of communication with your parents open, if possible. Talk about your online friends. Talk about how you feel about them. If your parents do not or will not listen, talk to friends and other family members who do. If you do not have that, I would even consider talking to a school counselor if you are willing. The point is, have someone who cares about you that you talk to about these people.
3. Buddy up. I joined IMVU when a personal (real life) friend introduced me to it. We have been on IMVU since 2006 and 2007. Our husbands are on it as well. We have a network. We all know each other and care enough about one another that we watch each others' backs there. It's not just strangers we met online.
4. Watch what you say to people. Watch what they say to you. If they start talking cyber-sex or video chats, leave the chat and block them. If they become a problem, report them to the staff.
5. If you use a 3D chat where you can choose your avatar's clothing, please be careful what it wears.  Believe it or not, scantily clad cartoon characters are 'turn ons' for dangerous people.

Not all of IMVU is dangerous or bad when used appropriately and without malice toward others.  It is, however, to be used with caution, and much consideration.  Happy internetting.