Last week's musical memoir (which is being posted a bit late, I apologize; I am going to get caught up soon as I'm quite determined) is Decode by Paramore. Hayley Williams of Paramore wrote the song specifically for the Twilight movie, and begged for the opportunity to do so. Here is the official music video, clips of Twilight included.
"How can I decide what's right?
When you're clouding up my mind
I can't win your losing fight all the time
Not gonna ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride
No not this time
Not this time
How did we get here?
When I use to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know
The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood,
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out on my own
On my own ("I'm screaming I love you so")
On my own (My thoughts you can't decode)
How did we get here?
When I use to know you so well, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools of ourselves
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools of ourselves
Yeah
How did we get here?
When I use to know you so well, yeah yeah
How did we get here?
When, I use to know you so well
I think I know
I think I know
There is something I see in you
It might kill me I want it to be true"
This song was written about the confusion of the relationship between Edward and Bella in Twilight, (no worries, no Twilight spoilers at the moment) but I think it applies to all of us in a way. As a person who thinks a great deal about the struggle(s) both men and women face in marriage and relationships in general, this song's first verse truly hits home. Personally, I do not view Twilight as a story about a helpless girl who needs a vampire to protect her. I believe that in order to be balanced, men must feel that they can protect and guard the ones they love, while women must feel they can protect themselves while allowing themselves to be guarded to an extent. Yet there is so much else that gets in the way of our being who we are supposed to be - the work of becoming balanced individuals.
"How can I decide what's right?
When you're clouding up my mind
I can't win your losing fight all the time
Not gonna ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride
No not this time
Not this time"
In the midst of balancing ourselves we find that the more we try to protect those we love, the more we cannot do so in our own power. Yet, we must refuse to allow these things to take an emotional toll on us. It is part of survival. Despite that, we still have a deep realization that we cannot claim any one person for ourselves, no matter our relationship with them.
"The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood,
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out on my own
On my own ("I'm screaming I love you so")
On my own (My thoughts you can't decode)"
There are things that we unintentionally hide from others. Whether it's because we honestly don't trust them deep down, or we are just not aware of what we're doing. I consider not knowing what you're doing as being a way of protecting the other person in a sense. Yet those who are closest to us can often still see those things, whether they realize it or not; and just like the song says, it affects them just as much - if not more so - than it does you
These things all mixed together decide our choices, and ultimately our futures. I believe Paramore has put a great deal of thought into this song, and I am grateful they have done so. It takes a lot of complicated thoughts and feelings and rolls them into very simple phraseology.
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