Yesterday... was a bad day... And while I know that my friends and family already know what happened, but I need a little more closure.
Thursday was a full, bright, and exciting day. My husband was home, and it was our big 'errand' day. Our snake, Thor needed some fresh mice from the Animal Jungle 3 bus rides and an (accidental) four-mile walk away from home. We enjoyed our time together before I had to drop him off at the ship. Once I got home, I talked to a friend on the phone and fell asleep...peacefully, or so it began.
Friday morning I awoke, confused. I knew a noise had startled me, but did not know what it had been. I decided it was Ryo, Drew's kitten, and closed my eyes to the shining sun. Just thirty more minutes of trying to slowly wake up... That's when I heard it again. Something, or was it someone was at the window, a popping noise. Then there was an ominous "skriiiiiiiitch" of something that sounded like the screen sliding down the window. A crack resounded two feet from me as I came to a realization that whoever the someone was, they were trying to open the window from the outside!
I peered through the slats between the blinds, trying to figure out who this was. I saw clothing that resembled what my husband had worn the night before. This had happened before. Drew was locked out of the building... but surely he wasn't home again. Why? I sat bolt-upright praying that there was no emergency. Drew was supposed to be at the ship working. The person at my window disappeared.
I ran to the apartment door and checked the peephole. My husband wasn't there. As I checked the front door of our building through a window next to it, fully expecting to see him grinning ear to ear, with maybe a "Guess what. Surprisingly I had today off." Still no sign of him. At this point, it was dawning on me that it had not been Drew. I felt a small bit of panic rising inside of me. Someone other than my husband had just tried climbing through the window not two feet from where I was sleeping just moments before! What did they want? Why were they there? Had they gotten in without me waking up, would they have hurt me? I ran to the back door of the breezeway to look through those windows, still hoping that maybe it was all a fluke. Drew was just being mischeavous, right? Messing with my head by scaring me and then going to the wrong door... But, to my dread, there was some other guy sauntering down the sidewalk as though nothing had happened. As though this were normal behavior and he had done nothing wrong.
Fleeing back to my apartment, I ran into the bedroom and checked the window. It was up by a half-inch. I found my cell phone and dialed the main office.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Someone just tried to break into my apartment using the window. They didn't get in, but..."
"Call the police. I have the number right here..."
I called the police who were on there way immediately to do a report. One of the officers went in search of the creeper, but did not find him. Later on, I went to visit the complex manager, who took down what little description I had for security purposes...
While all of this was going on, I called my grandmother and got the overbearing-motherly response... I texted my husband and explained that the police were at our apartment doing a report and why. I texted a status message to Facebook explaining what had happened. In less than an hour, my husband called and in worried tones asked if I was alright. He got a ride home so that he could stay with me the night. I don't think I would have slept otherwise.
So... from 9am till about 7:30pm, I felt violated and trapped. Violated in that this was supposed to be the 'safe' place to live in this area. Trapped because I was confused. If I stayed home and that person came back, bad things could happen. If I left and they came back, what would happen to my pets...and the other things I am responsible for? It wasn't fun.
But this experience (as well as other recent happenings) has gotten me to thinking a lot. Last year, I wanted to go to Chicago for a weekend to visit Drew while he was still in school. I chose one near Valentine's Day. My mom constantly worried aloud that I would go up there and be "beaten, raped, and killed, or worse..." Apparently, there are things worse than my death; I didn't care to ask what. Also, it seemed to be of great concern that all of these things would happen simply because "a lot of homeless people and dangerous folk" stay in the bus stops/stations overnight. A friend of mine who has a daughter himself talked to me about my mom's concerns. His take on it was simply that, "Well, you know, people go in and out of Chicago's bus stops every day without those things happening."
I have to say I agree with the friend. But at the same time, I cannot ignore the fact that the world is still a very dangerous place. I love my husband very much, and one of the ways in which I try to show him this is by showing my support. I ride the buses with him each trip to or from work and home. No matter how late into the night, as long as I have a bus to get home on and a friend to talk to on the phone, I go with Drew. I still play it safe, though. I call and talk to friends on the phone when walking, especially after dark. I update my Facebook status as to my location and what bus I am on. I had my husband sign up for Facebook Mobile as well so that he gets all of my status updates as a text message. I text while riding the bus, and I make sure that I always have a phone charger handy in case I should run out of battery power.
All of that said, it's getting a little tiring for me to always hear phrases such as:
"He's not being very considerate of you, what with you going back and forth by bus all the time." - I get it. I really do. But this was my choice. I want my husband to have something to smile about when he gets off that ship each time he's coming home... I don't want him to have time to dwell on how bad the week was unless he needs to talk it out.
"It just seems unreasonable for you to be riding the bus so much." - Well, I have to have some form of transportation, and unless you want to bear with my belly-aching over cabin fever, I appreciate if you'd let it go.
"But that's just a lot of money to be spending for bus rides, especially when you're not riding every single day." - True. But when the calculations are all done, when we have the truck (which is currently in the shop) available, gas costs over twice as much per month as a 30-day bus pass. Again, gotta have some form of transportation.
Please understand. I am not mad at anyone for making these remarks... it just grows tiring to hear them when there is little I can or want to do about it. I know that the supposed Christian thing to do is to shut yourself off from the world so that you can protect yourself, your family, and so on. But I cannot do that. Neither spiritually nor otherwise.
Please know that I do appreciate the concerns. But I would much prefer that instead of pointing out the negative and focusing on the potential dangers, you just wait. If something happens, follow my husband's example. Call and ask if I'm ok... That means more to me than any amount of previously expressed concern. Meanwhile, know that I am seeking a balance... a way to balance my lifestyle within a crazy world.
Thank you for reading.
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